Renewing

Making touch newly pleasurable, over and over

Distraction Can Make The Feeling New Again

There’s a fresh intensity to the first moments the vagina is penetrated compared to the forty-forth stroke in a session. Same with touching the clitoris - touch that feels exciting at first often looses its ‘oomf’ within a few minutes as the body gets used to the feeling. The big insight: you can repeat the ‘magic’ of the first touch over and over just by taking a break or briefly moving the mind’s attention to something else.

83%
of women get an extra thrill from the first clit touches or first penetration of a session
Perspectives

“When it’s just going in, it’s wonderful, like ‘this is what I’ve been missing’ type of feeling.”

Techniques

Penetration Intermissions

Lot’s of people think of changing positions as the way to keep penetration exciting. But many have realized it’s actually the little intermission the body gets that renews the pleasure. So, using this idea, whenever the pleasure starts to fade, try pulling all the way out for a while before gently penetrating again.

19%
of women renew pleasure by taking the penis/toy all the way out for a while before resuming

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Elle

“Hovering”

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Rosalinda

“The dramatic pause”

Clit Intermissions

Just like with penetration, touch on the clit often feels great. . . still great. . . and then, less great. More like ho-hum. Sometimes just a break for air makes all the difference. At the first sign the clit’s sensitivity is getting stale, stop touching it and touch nearby for a while before returning for a fresh touch.

“Alone and with my husband, when the feeling from my clit is not feeling as great anymore, taking a pause to kiss for a minute recharges the pleasure I can get.”

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Jessica

“Change of exposure”

Hey Body! Look Over There!

Many women renew the sensation by shifting attention to a different area of the body for a while. Some even discover ways to ‘shock’ their system to reset the pleasure: a little spank, a stream of cool breath, a dab of an ice cube or even a gentle bite. After the distraction, the stimulation or penetration that was happening before can feel new again.

“When I am bitten on my inner upper thigh, this is almost like a reset for me when receiving oral pleasure and then when they go back to my vulva, it’s new again.”

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Zosia

“Revitalizing slaps”

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Kate

“A breath of fresh air”

Secret Gaps

Some women give their clit a break during intercourse just by slightly shifting their hips for a moment so their clit isn’t getting any contact. The contrast and temperature change can enable a fresh wave of pleasure when the clit is moved back into the action.

“When sex feels stagnant, I move my butt up so my clitoris can just feel air and not be touched for a minute. Then after, I can feel the pleasure more.”

Perspectives

“I love receiving oral sex, and then having my partner stop and kiss other places for a while. That makes me crave the touch more, increases my arousal, and when they come back to my vagina, it feels fresh again.”

Bringing it to the bedroom

Helpful guidelines

Lots of Little Goals
Renewing is great to try because it replaces the race-to-the-goal mentality with more playful, more gradual sex or masturbation that’s more about squeezing pleasure from each moment.
For Both Partners
Women’s partners have discovered Renewing techniques are sexy and pleasurable for them, too. And since they’re brain hacks, not vagina hacks, these techniques can prolong and heighten pleasure for anyone.
Renew Me, Baby
As you explore Renewing with a partner, you’ll likely find some of the techniques work for you and others don’t. When one works well, make a word or phrase for it and talk about it so you can ask for it the next time. Creating little names for the techniques makes them ‘yours.’

Most common challenges

Reintroducing Yourself
After Renewing with a break or distraction, most prefer the next clit touch or penetration to start gentle, as if approaching for the first time. It’s rare that someone loves to go from zero to jack-hammer penetration.
Please Don’t Tease
Some love chocolate in tiny nibbles and others like to gobble it all at once. It’s also true that some women just don’t like being teased in sex. But while approaching the clit slowly or going deeper little by little can seem like a tease, try treating each stage not as a step toward a goal but as its own destination to enjoy.